We have our first guest blogger, Kapraun.  He was recently featured in our lovely Wild Pack of Kittens vs. Kip Winger blog post. Today, he imagines what Thor would be like at different restaurants.

Thor at a Fast Food Joint

Thor at Fast Food Joint

“You mean to tell me that I can have a dozen burgers of ham that is not ham but beef for ten Asgardian dollars? I request five orders.”

Thor at an “All You Can Eat Buffet”

Thor Buffet

“Why am I only allotted such a small serving of the meat?! I requested the entirety of the animal. No, I have NO INTEREST in the bar of lettuce and uncooked vegetables!!”

Thor at an Upscale Restaurant

Thor Fine Dining

“Why are there so many silverware with which to eat? In Asgard, we eat primarily with our hands. Even on the fields of battle when they are stained with dirt and the blood of our enemies!”

Thor at a Chinese Restaurant

Thor Chinese Restaurant

“I do not understand the purpose of the sticks of wood, or how one can be expected to each such small rice with them. Is this a test of manhood?!”

Thor at an Ice Cream Truck

Thor Ice Cream

“Man of iron! What is this large, horseless carriage that emanates such a melodious tune? Ice cream? Frost giants have invaded and abducted the bovines! Stand back, I shall slay the disguised monster and free the cattle!”

“Thor! He isn’t a frost giant. He sells ice cream and other delicious products. Here, let me show you. Two scoops of vanilla ice cream.”

“If you say so, man of iron, I shall try this iced cow secretion. Oh…OH! By Odin’s beard! This is delicious. Who knew that….AHHHHH! MY HEAD! IT FEELS LIKE A A FROST GIANT IS STEPPING UPON IT! LOKI MUST BE BEHIND THIS TREACHERY!”

“It’s…It’s just brain freeze. You don’t have to be so over dramatic.”

Thor at Chuck E Cheese’s

Thor Chuck E Cheese

“But why am I not allowed to play in the pit of balls? The Man of Iron has claim of the metal ball machine. The man of star spangle is successfully capturing objects with the metal claw. I wish to partake in the pit of colorful balls!”

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