I’m a big wrestling fan. Over the years in its waxing and waning popularity, there has been a lot of merchandise. Some of them are classics like the old Austin 3:16 shirts or Ric Flair DVD Box Sets. Then you get to some that aren’t so great. I have scoured the interwebs finding some of my favorite bizarre wrestling merchandise I’ve seen posted online over the years. For whatever reason, a lot of them include WCW Legend, Sting.
What were they thinking?
What the Hell is Even Going on Here With Sting
Here is the most confusing piece of wrestling merchandise ever…
This hideous thing is actually a hat. It has Sting with dead eyes stradled on a rocket boob. Why? There were never any rockets in his act. Why does the rocket have an inflamed nipple? I have so many questions that I don’t think I could ever get answer here.
Imagine just strolling the streets of downtown Chicago with this bad boy. In fact, if you can find this product, and you shoot a video of you walking down those very streets with this hot product, I will give you a gold star.
Bad T-Shirt Designs
There has been a lot of bad shirt designs over the years. Some more famous, but I went with an obscure one here that is just a bit disturbing in its own right…
WWE offices are like “You know what merch would move? One with the dead carcass of a bee on it” and then this shirt was born. I wonder if anyone bought it?
I think I will have to do a whole T-Shirt list later.
Bad Action Figures
Speaking of future lists, I will also have to do one for action figures because there has been some doozies over the years. Here is the one that doesn’t even get close to the WWE (ECW) Superstar, Layla El.
Wow….just wow. Did they even try? It seems they put more work on her boobs then they did on skin tone, hair, face, costume, or literally anything else remotely resembling Layla El.
Sting Again With Talking Merchandise
The cup says “Try Me. Press My Button.” No, screw you cup. I don’t intentionally try to press anybody’s buttons! Seriously, who wants their cup to talk to them?
In fact, let us look at some of those winning phrases…
– “NWO is Going down” – As Scott Hall would say… DOWN WHERE?
– “Ughhh” – Great… Sting is having an orgasm, where is exactly is that straw attached to anyway?
– “I’ll be back” – He also quotes Terminator movies for some reason.
Also, I have to say this… “Where the Big Boys Play” is a slogan that is appropriate for both a wrestling company and a gay bar. So it had some resiliency.
More Unnecessary Talking Merchandise That Takes the Creep Level Up a Notch
Okay, here it is people… TALKING SOAP!
Who doesn’t want Stone Cold Steve Austin to scream out of your soap while you’re washing your genitals? What the heck happened here, WWE?
Sting Merchandise Goes To Another Bad Level…
Here it is… a doll in which you can blow up (not necessarily a conventional blow up doll) of Sting…
For those lonely people or bachelor parties, bring Sting and live by It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s Frank Reynolds philosophy…
Poorly Chosen Words…
Here is a horrifying piece of WWF (WWE) merchandise from back in the day…
A Squirt Head?
Also, what is the practical use for this merchandise? I recall some similar toys in the early 90s and then being total pieces of junk.
Sting Puts the Lotion in the Basket
Just take look here…
I got a gif for this one…
Okay, this is fucking terrifying. Lazy-eye sting skin mask… this some straight up weird shit people. This makes me pretty speechless. It would not be surprising if this mask is featured in some fetish videos on some dark corner of the internet. I mean seriously, what the hell?!
On the upside, WCW decided to do both Crow Sting and Wolfpack Sting. Two varieties of this abomination.