I’m going to be upfront about this. The Howling II is horrible on almost all levels. Now, I love bad movies. What makes a bad movie fun to watch is that it’s still somehow very entertaining. Does The Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf fit that mold of both being awful but also ridiculously entertaining? To quote my favorite fictional musicians from the movie Spinal Tap…

I discovered this movie through a review posted by my peeps over on VHSRevival.com. Check out the blog and also follow @VHSRevival on Twitter for more updates.

This is sort of my first cult movie review on Geek With That so I am playing around with format. If you have any suggestions or questions, let me know in the comments or on social media. It may take a few movies to hammer out a good flow. I just want to highlight a few reasons why you want or don’t want to watch it without spoiling the whole movie..


Plot Synopsis

After countless millennia of watching, waiting and stalking, the unholy creatures known as werewolves are poised to inherit the earth. After newswoman Karen White’s shocking on-screen transformation and violent death, her brother Ben is approached by Stefan Crosscoe, a mysterious gentleman who claims that Karen has actually become a werewolf. But this is the least of their worries… To save mankind, Stefan and Ben must travel to Transylvania to battle and destroy Stirba, the immortal queen of all werewolves, before she is restored to her full powers!


My Favorite Scenes in The Howling II

One thing to note up front is almost every actor gives a really bad performance except for one or two actors. One of whom is, the legendary, Christopher Lee. How did he get sucked into this movie?

Opening Monologue

First, let us see this amazing opening monologue with this international treasure…

What is Christopher Lee even talking about here? I honestly don’t know, but its awesome because he is Christopher Lee. Let us face it, the man could have read from a set of IKEA building instructions and have you glued to the edge of your seat. I am not going to lie about that.

The Sacrifice Scene

One thing to note is that this film has a lot of the female nipple. A body part, in which, when exposed, is frowned upon and sometimes even illegal in many social circles and cultures. I don’t judge people for exposing or seeking out such a thing. However, for the sake of not getting torn down by advertisers or my webhost, I will censor the female nipple with a pictures of Mr. Bean judging you.

In the movie, the antagonist is Stirba, a millenium old Werewolf and the leader of this pack. She must sacrifice a young person to become renewed. It is really bizarre and, for no reason whatsoever, the women are topless in this scene.

I mean, I guess the skin needs to breath or something. I don’t know.

The scene gets ridiculous as you see the old lady breathing the essence from random young lady.

Everyone is around howling like wolves. It is pretty amazing. Then, when the spirit is sucked in, out comes Stirba…

Often times when watching these movies I often ask myself how such awful performers landed these roles. In this case, it took me a few seconds. Then a couple reasons came to my mind on why Sybil Danning landed this role…

Two Words: Werewolf Threesome

Now we get to the best scene. First it opens up with Stirba and hunky guy going at it. Then she stops him and asks to bring in their “daughter.” Weird timing, but ok…

Her nipple is exposed the entire time, and it doesn’t even look remotely comfortable either as she got kind of a half boob thing going on. I felt like Newman in The Christmas Card episode from Seinfeld.

She then asks the hunky guy if the daughter pleases him…

Maybe it is figurative but seriously…

Then we get to the threesome. Now, this isn’t a sensual human threesome. Oh no, THEY ARE FULL ON WEREWOLF! It is so hilarious…

This isn’t sexy. It isn’t scary at all. It is just bizarre and hilarious. Now, I have a theory that maybe they aren’t werewolves in this scene…


Acting & Special Effects

The acting in this movie is horrible except for the performance of Christopher Lee. In fact, he is such a good actor, that is makes the movie worse because his skills don’t line up with the rest of the cast. Seriously, how did he get cast in this movie?

Also, here are some gifs of some of the greatest special effects you will ever see in the 1980s, for sure…

Let us talk about the credits and soundtrack too. The soundtrack is pretty much 1980s New Wave Synth music. The ending credits has a band performing while they show this one second clip of Stirba taking her top off over and over again…

Trust me, they really milk those boobs!


Live Reactions to The Howling II

Of course, with all cult movies on GeekWithThat, I will be posting my live reactions on Twitter and, if requested, other social media. Here was the big highlight I felt of that live tweet session.

 

I am reliving the trauma from 8th grade trying to explain math with a Popsicle stick bridge. I think this is what I did with that project afterwards too…

That totally checks out.

Oh man, now I got that song in my head! NOOOO!


Have you seen The Howling II? Let us know your favorite scene or just why you absolutely hate that movie in the comments or on social media.


NEXT ARTICLE: A Star Wars Ripoff Starring David Hasselhoff?

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