So, we are about 6 month away from Halloween, but to me, I live in the land in the Nightmare Before Christmas where everyday is Halloween as far as I am concerned. Plus, you can never not have fun with Halloween costumes. So today, I poke a little fun at some rather bizarre Halloween Costumes.

To preface, I am not going to be poking fun at people who have DIY costumes. Honestly, I respect the effort put into a DIY even if it is not what some individuals will consider to be of high quality. I also won’t make fun of Cosplayers. That’s not cool either. Those people live and have much love for their hobby. Quite frankly, I can barely operate a pair of safety scissors. So I have much respect for what they do, even if they are still trying to figure things out.

Oh no, what I am poking fun is those companies that SELL really bizarre, or creepy costumes.

Do You Want to Pet Yoshi?

Holy shit, who dreamed this up? This is just fucking weird all around, from the phallic imagery to arms/torso to legs ratio. Seriously, what the fuck happened?

Oh boy, look at her… She’s is Sexy…. umm… wait… Sexy Luigi?

Hey I have no problem with a woman respecting her sexuality or what she feels confident in. What gets me is that sometimes when I see a sexy version of a character I viewed with, when I was a youngin, with much childlike wonder and amazement, it usually spawns this reaction out of me…

So, if you will excuse, I need to go sob in the shower for awhile.

IT IS ALWAYS SONIC THE HEDGEHOG

 

Why is everything Sonic the Hedgehog so freaking weird? Seriously, it is like they are trolling me specifically. Damn you Sonic the Hedgehog!

Tryhard Marcus Phoenix

Marcus Phoenix from the Gears of War series was a cool character. So why not go as the quitessential tryhard version of him with this creepy as hell mask. You can wear a cut off sleeveless Tapout shirt to show off how swoll you are. Go all the way by jamming out to some Hatebreed and making homophobic jokes.

WARIO!

 

Okay, there is no skirting around this… Wario basically has a huge raging boner here. Maybe his mind wandered off and he started day dreaming about Princess Peach. Or… maybe he read some internet slash fan fiction about his partner-in-crime Waluigi (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT GOOGLE). Whatever his preference or case may be, he should probably take a cold shower before he leaves the house like that.

BAHHHH!!!

Not going to lie, Rabbids games are a guilty pleasure of mine. They are basically like Despicable Me’s Minions, except they are high on angel dust. Having said that, you probably shouldn’t wear this costume around someone with a heart condition. Holy shit it is scary.

Gotta Catch Em!

Okay, Ash Ketchum will always be a celebrated characters, so naturally let us make his face the weirdest part of the costume. Just zoom in and take a look…

There is nothing that I can say that can do this amazing mask the justice it so rightfully deserves.


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