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4 Things From My Childhood That Did Not Age Well: MORTAL KOMBAT!

Welcome to a new Listicle! I have an idea for a Web video series that takes a look at childhood favorites. This is not necessarily from any specific generation. I want it different from what is out there. It is currently in development. We will see what happens. However, before I go poking fun at something I don’t understand, I wanted to take a look at some of my childhood favorites. I wanted to get real about them. This includes such great American classics like Mortal Kombat: The Movie.

It helps to have perspective. So I made this quick listicle.

4. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

A lot of people were hating on the new movie when it was in development because it didn’t match the original series. At the time, I knew whatever came out was probably going to be miles ahead of the original series. Why? Let us face it. It didn’t age well. In fact, it is so cringeworthy to watch as an adult. Stop going down nostalgia trips people!

The original series was made in a different time, the 1990s. It included a lot moments that at the time 10 year old me didn’t think much of. However, as an adult, I see moments like the gif below. It makes me play the game “Is this racist? Hmmm…”

By the way, if you want to know my answer to this question that is raised in the game, here is the answer I usually go with. “If you have to play the game and ask yourself that. Then, yes, it probably is insensitive in some way.”

The new movie was pretty well done production in my opinion. Elizabeth Banks was spot on as Rita Repulsa. And hey, I didn’t mind hearing plugs for the movie’s seemingly only sponsor, Krispy Kreme. If nothing else, it also fought against stereotypes…

3. Limp Bizkit’s Significant Other and Limp Bizkit in General

Limp Bizkit Signifant Other

When I was 15, the nu-metal band Limp Bizkit had hit the scene. At the time, I thought it was amazing. Why? Because everybody else thought it was and you should always give into peer pressure!

I thought the song “Stuck” off their debut album was amazing..

I mean I thought the lyric “All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi” was super cool. That was until years later a friend had informed me that they ripped it off a much better band, Suicidal Tendencies…

Then Significant Other came out. I was “with it” when it came to the song “Nookie.”

(By the way, I can’t believe this piece of crap has 50 million views on YouTube!)

Let us look at the amazing lyrics to this song that puts Freddie Mercury’s Bohemian Rhapsody to shame…

“I did it all for the nookie
The nookie
So you can take that cookie
And stick it up your—yeah!
Stick it up your—yeah!
Stick it up your—yeah!
Stick it up your—”

Wait? When did a cookie enter the picture in your nookie life, Mr. Fred Durst?

I am so glad that I smartened up in a couple of years (when “Chocolate Starfish” came out). Wow, was this stuff awful. It makes me want to… Break Stuff…

2. Short Circuit

Short Circuit

Some might give me the old stink eye for this one, but I loved this movie when I was a younging in the 1980s. So many 1980s tropes are in it that I can’t begin to deconstruct it in a listicle. However, it just did not hold up when I tried to introduced this disaster to Mrs J.

Not only that, but being young and innocent, I didn’t realize at the time that the Indian in the movie is played by a white guy. Apparently neither did Aziz Ansari, a real Indian. Read this New York Times piece if you have the time. It is interesting. This kind of thing still happens to this very day.

I will still say “I am Johnny 5 and I am alive” is still a quotable line, at least.

1. Mortal Kombat: The Movie

Mortal Kombat

Who says a video game can’t be made into a good movie? Well, so far, it seems like everybody at this point. It still really hasn’t been done. For awhile, I thought that the movie that fit this bill of “Great Video Game to Film Adaptation” was Mortal Kombat.

I absolutely loved this film as a child. Why can’t I watch it as an adult? Why is it so stupid? I don’t know. Why did I like this so much? The original games were definitely classics in their own right. Not only that the but the recent games in the series have been a great evolution of the series.

So let us take a look at a clip from the movie…

Oh good grief! Make it stop!

There is one thing that did kind of hold up from this movie. It is that sweet ass theme music! Damn! Why don’t they have a remix in the new games these days?

Like this listicle? Check out 5 “Awesome: Album Covers!

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