From the Web

5 Actual Articles on Millennials

I am a millennial, for better or worse. The way the press and baby boomers in general talk about millennials is amusing. It creates an insane perception. Apparently, it seems we have upset the natural order of things. I have an idea though…

Sir David Frederick Attenborough

Why don’t we just phone BBC’s Sir David Attenbourough and get that nature documentary going on millennials? Observe us in our natural habitat. It is what we all want! I know it is what I want, for sure.

A quick Google of Millennial articles gets some good results, including some rather interesting suggestions…

Millennial Suggestions

Hmmm…I’m sensing some tension here.

Onwards to the Listicle!

1. The Damn Millennial and All of Our Avocado Toast Buying Ways!

Avocado Toast - Millennial

One millionaire real estate mogul Tim Gurner blames the low real estate market on the millennial spending habits. Why? We are spending our money on smashed avocados and lattes. Sure, my spell check keeps coming up every time I try to spell the word avocado in this blog, but he’s damn right! If there is one thing that the millennial does budget it is rent, gas, electricity, and avocados.

2. Millennials Are Obsessed with House Plants

It this an article about millennials obsessions or an article to sell some house plants? CLEARLY IT IS ABOUT MILLENNIALS. I can tell you, whenever I visit my friend’s homes, they are covered top to bottom in house plants. I be like, “Girl (or bro), why you obsessed with all of these damn house plants. How do you find time working 60 hours a week and money paying student loans?”

3. We are too lazy for cereal

Tony the Tiger

Man… I can’t believe it, but Rice Crispies is hurting because of my generation! Why? Because we are too lazy to do dishes? Hmmm….that doesn’t sound like it is telling the entire story, but sure, whatever you say New York Times and Washington Post! It is that damn lazy millennial!

Seriously, there is fear mongering, and then there is just pure ridiculousness.

4. Millennials Hate Groceries

Hahahahaha… No you don’t understand! We do buy groceries. It is just all $100 of smashed avocados! In seriousness! With all of my fellow millennial posts talking about how pizza, tacos, and coffee are basically life on social media, this one I have a hard time following. So we go out to eat a lot? But other articles saying we are killing the restaurant business. Which is it baby boomer journalists?

5. We Have 29 Credit Cards Each

Ummm… what? Millennials have credit? I mean, oh yeah! Millennials have 29 credit cards each! Totally!

That totally seems legit!

I mean, how else are we going to buy all of those house plants and avocados?

I apologize to the baby boomers for upsetting the natural order of things. In fairness, younger generations of have been continually upsetting the natural order of things for awhile now. Still though, it is mine that ruined life forever.


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