Wrestling

9 Awful Wrestling Action Figures, Poor Sable

Professional wrestling has a lot of merchandise. One of the popular lines of merchandise is the action figures. I remember having a whole collection of action figures and a couple of rings. That is how I had my fantasy wrestling league when I was a little tyke. Now, some of them over the years are just butchered version of the wrestlers. Seriously, what happened with these? Especially Sable!


Driving that train, high on cocaine, Casey Jones you better watch your speed…

Okay, this is perhaps the most beloved character of Mick Foley, one Dude Love…

Here is Dude Love’s totally chill action figure.

The is supposed to be Dude Love. To be honest, he looks like Dude Love raging on cocaine. Not all mellow and free loving like the real Dude Love…


Oh You Didn’t Know?

I love me The Road Dogg Jesse James. He was an amazing charismatic performer with the best sing along in WWE History.

Road Dogg

Then you have the Maximum Sweat Action Figure…

The Maximum Sweat action figures were intentionally a over the top interpretation of the wrestler. In the Road Dogg Jesse James’ case, that interpretation was for him to be an extra on a Slipknot music video. Sweet Jesus, what the hell happened here?


Poor Brian Pillman

R.I.P. Brian Pillman. You were easily underrated for your time. This one fortunately/unfortunately has the picture of Brian Pillman right next to the action figure…

Not sure if Brian Pillman or Joan Rivers…


If You Think Stone Cold Deserves a Nose Job, Give Me A Hell Yeah!

In case you don’t really know who Stone Cold Steve Austin is (really?) then here he is…

And here is this action figure where his face is potentially melted…

How could you categorically get everything wrong about a person’s face like that? Damn…


Sable Part 1

Ahh, Sable. She broke some ground in WWE, even if it wasn’t most ideal path. If you don’t remember Sable, this is what she looks like…

Absolutely stunning… now here is the figure…

This is the first Sable action figure featured in this article. Believe me, it actually gets worse.


The Stratusphere

This is WWE Hall of Famer Trish Stratus. She is probably my favorite of the Attitude and Ruthless Aggression Eras of WWE.

And here is the figure…

I feel like there was too much focus only getting certain aspects of this figure correct. Then they spent like 3 seconds on making sure her face even lines up at all!


Shawn Michaels or Bret Michaels?

I loved all phases of Shawn Michaels career. He will always be Mr. Wrestlemania to me. Remember when he was in The Rockers? This is Shawn Michaels when he was one half of the tag team The Rockers…

This is the Rocker Shawn Michaels figure…

I actually had this figure as a kid. I still don’t think this remotely looks like Shawn Michaels but how about that springing action, baby!


Sable Part 2: The Sable-ing

Again this is Sable…

Sable

And here is the mother of all abominations…

Sable Figure

This is hideous. Obviously a biproduct of the Attitude Era where Sable was tasked to basically always wear next to nothing in the ring. All of the cheesy bikini contests and lingerie matches the adolescent boys without high speed internet loved. I’m really glad they moved away from that though. Now we have a fantastic women’s division not only in WWE, but all around the independent scene too.


Stepdad Vince McMahon

Vince McMahon needs no introduction if you love pro-wrestling. Here is a classic picture of Vince McMahon

Here is his action figure action figure.

There is no chance in hell this is Vince McMahon. Honestly, he looks a little more like this guy:

Not that I would know who this guy is or anything…


NEXT ARTICLE: 8 Pieces of Bizarre Wrestling Merchandise

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