Bad and Just Plain Creepy Wrestling Merchandise

I’m a huge wrestling fan. Over the years in its waxing and waning popularity, there has been a lot of merchandise. For every classic nWo shirt or Ricky Steamboat DVD Box Set, there are dozens of much worse wrestling merchandise. SOOOO much worse.

What were they thinking?

Banger Dolls

I’m so glad WWE got themselves into the creepy as fuck doll business at one point. Holy balls what is going on here?

Looks like a scene straight out of a horror movie.



Mattel Hall of Fame Tough Talkers Featuring… Rowdy Roddy Piper, maybe?

Unfortunately, Rowdy Roddy Piper passed away a few years ago. So naturally, they went with R Lee Ermey from Stanley Kubrick’s classic film Full Metal Jacket to do the voice, I’m guessing…

Man, too bad there isn’t like a vault of thousands of hours of recordings featuring the voice of Rowdy Roddy Piper somewhere on this planet…

Finn Balor Gingerbread Man Christmas Ornament

Some mashups just should not happen. Sure, Finn Balor’s demon persona is fabulous. Gingerbread Men are a mainstay Christmas classic. Put those two beloved things together? Holy hell… not so much.

Kurt Angle Impact Wrestling Costume

The WWE Hall of Famer Kurt Angle spent a lot of his wrestling career in Impact / TNA / GFW Wrestling. He was one of the main attractions of that promotion for a long time, and so he got some real winning merchandise such as this costume which is both more like a creepy version of Jason Statham rather than Kurt Angle. Maybe I’m wrong. You tell me…

Hulk Hogan Vitamins

Now I am not saying tying Hulk Hogan merchandise to his 3 or 4 demandments speech he used to always give in the 80s isn’t the worst idea. I’m just saying, this seems very ill advised with all the steroid and illegal substances jokes that go around the wrestling business. What were they thinking?

Sable Jakk’d Up

Jakk’d Up is a very apt description for this creepy Sable Doll that looks absolutely nothing like Sable. Seriously, Sable is a gorgeous lady. My theory on what happened here is they wanted to give Sable to at you the way some creepy guys probably look at her. I see what you did there Jakked Toys.

NEXT: Bad WWE Action Figures Including Plenty of Bad Sable Figures

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