Is WCW New Blood Rising the Worst Wrestling Event Ever?

Ladies and gentlemen, over the last 3 months I have struggled trying to write this review. It probably reads like Vince Russo held me hostage the entire time. I apologize for that. I made it. I watched the infamous WCW New Blood Rising. It is done. I will say this, I will never review a WCW Vince Russo event ever again.

“Record Contract Ladder Match” Three Count vs. Yung Dragons

This is a 3 team ladder match featuring 3 very talented teams plus Tank Abbott is there for some reason. The winner of the match will determined whether Three Count will still make music or not. Ummm…why does anybody give a rats ass about that?

Never have the stakes for a ladder match ever been so low.

The match is one of the few decent highlights of the night though despite shenanigans from Tank Abbott. Tank Abbott is apparently is Three Count’s recording manager or something. Man, I didn’t know UFC Legend Tank Abott knew music theory.

Match Rating: **3/4

The Great Muta vs. Ernest “The Cat” Miller

Oh my god… I forgot they somehow dragged an all time great like The Great Muta into all of this mess at that time. Poor Muta. I recall him main eventing during the Crockett days including that Thundercage match with Ric Flair, Sting, and Terry Funk. That was a good year, wrestling wise.

However, this match is simply filler with Ernest “The Fucking Cat” Miller. Good god, what a waste of roster space that guy was.

Match Rating: *

“Judy Bagwell on a Pole Match”
Buff Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon

Judy Bagwell is Buff’s mom. Fun fact… I recently learned Buff Bagwell’s wife is also named Judy. So feel free to make all of those Oedpidus jokes you want.

At some point, and I have absolutely no memory of this whatsoever, Kanyon was trying to take on Diamond Dallas Page’s character. They were doing a lot of “Characters Reincarnated” in WCW during the New Blood era. They ALL pretty much flopped. Those kind of things usually do unless you don’t directly name who you are trying to be (Bobby Roode, anyone?)

First, let us take a moment to appreciate the greatest theme song in the history of wrestling:

The match pretty much is dull all the way through. Also, if Kanyon wins, Judy Bagwell gets to be his “Kimberly.” So you know, you can win a person in wrestling sometimes. That’s kind of weird when you think about it.

hey wrestle for a bit, and then, and I’m not kidding, David Fucking Arquette runs in tries to help Kanyon for some reason. Instead, Buff ends up winning. He gets to keep his mum. Good for him.

Rating: *

Fatal Four Way Tag Team Title with 4 Special guest Referees
Kronik (Champions) vs. O’Hair/Jindrack vs. Stasiak/Palumbo vs. Misfits in Action

Jesus fucking Christ. So Billy Kidman is the special referee with Rey Mysterio, Tygress, and some other guy as special enforcers. Konnan is on commentary.

Kronik…. wow, what a baaaddd team they were. Clarke was Adam Bomb and just never really set the world on fire. As far Adams, he had some success in his first run as Crush. Didn’t do so well in his second run in the DOA.

O’Haire and Jindrack aka Team Never Fully Realized Potential. Seriously, we could talk all day about how these two guys had so much potential in WCW and WWE. Jindrack’s footnote in WWE history is that he was going to be in Evolution but they swapped him out for Batista at the last second. Good move, honestly.

Sean “The Perfect One” Stasiak and Chuck “Who Gives a Fuck” Palumbo aka Team Shit. Palumbo saw some success in Billy & Chuck (a now very flawed gimmick), but never really set the world on fire outside of that. Stasiak was the son of former WWE Heavyweight Champion Stan Stasiak, and best known for the one month he wrestled as WWE Legend, Meat.

Misfits in Action was also there.

Honestly the best team out there was the Filthy Animals and they were refereeing for some reason. This whole match was a big gigantic mess with about 30 secret double crosses and somehow Kronik wins.

Match Rating: 0 stars

Strap Match

Billy Kidman vs. Shane Douglas

Good god? Does every match need a gimmick? Apparently Torrie turned on Kidman and sided with Shane because SWERVE. Am I the only one who found Shane Douglas to be a tad overrated? Just me. Ok.

This match is basically a mess and Kidman won because of… SHENANIGANS. According to internet statistics this match was only 8 minute but it really felt light it dragged.

Match Rating: Participation Ribbon

Mud Rip off the Camouflage Match

Major Gunns vs. Ms Hancock

I would argue that the rules for this match is utterly bonkers and make no sense, but that wasn’t the purpose of why this was booked. This was merely a T & A exhibition, and thankfully we no longer have these wasteful segments any more. Yes, Stacy & Tylene are very attractive, and maybe 15 year old me with dial up internet would have loved this, but this is 2018, and I can access all of that with just about any smart device these days.

Thank god women’s wrestling has a lot more respect now. Whether I like to admit it or not (I really don’t) a lot of it began in these crapfests because at least they had a spot that had some semblence of heat.

Can we talk about how much a tool Mark Madden is on commentary throughout this match? He makes Jerry Lawler seem like an old school feminist by comparison. Jesus dude, lighten the fuck up. Tony plays it relatively cool though.

And believe it or not… there’s a storyline twist at the end. Apparently Ms Hancock is pregnant? WHAT A TWIST! … and a bit of a buzzkill for a T&A exhibition. We get a worked shoot? Seriously, why is there a super serious angle coming out of a MUD MATCH?!

Match Rating: Nah…

Sting vs. The Demon

BLINK! And you will miss it! Still a better match than half of the card so far.

Match Rating: *1/2

Canadian Rules US Title Match

Lance Storm vs. Mike Awesome

Okay, I have to admit, one of the few highlights for me of the WCW New Blood era was Lance Storm as the Canadian Hero. This is probably the only highlight of the whole event.

Mike Awesome is just Mike Awesome. As opposed to his short runs as That 70s Guy or the Fluffy Lady Thriller. This match is wrestled under “Canadian Championship Rules.” He invokes his right to name a special guest outside ref, Jacque Rougheau.

It does get a bit ridiculous as the rules escalate on and on. Honestly, with the hot crowd, this is literally the only real highlight of the night. WCW and ECW did right by Lance Storm (let us not talk about his WWE run).

This match gets 3 stars just for being entertaining and a guilty pleasure, plus we get a Bret Hart appearance afterwards.

Match Rating: ***

Tag Team Title Match

Kronik vs. The Dark Carnival (Vampiro & The Great Muta)

This was a last minute added match and… geez, why? We get twice the amount of Kronik in one night… and not in the good way.

star wars no GIF

The match kind of meanders (notice a pattern here) and then just as any sort of excitement picks up, THE FREAKING HARRIS TWINS or whatever name they are wrestling under interfere. I do not understand how Ron and Don Harris kept getting work in the big leagues all of those years. Nothing ever screamed special about them other than being tall twins. That’s it. Beyond that, nothing.

Dark Carnival wins because of shenanigans.

Match Rating: 1/2*

Triple Threat Number One Contenders Match

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg

Oh yeah, and for some reason, Goldberg, SWERVE, he refuses to wrestle and lay down for Kevin Nash with the jackknife power bomb. Wait… what? That implies its scripted. Now, almost everyone is in on the fact that wrestling is preplanned. However, you gotta be able to sustain some level of disbelief or Kayfabe. You don’t see an actor in the middle of a TV show going off script and start yelling at a producer. That’s stupid. Vince Russo I guess tried wipe his ass with kayfabe for some reason. Then Vince Russo brings his butt out like this is “real.” COME ON PEOPLE!

Kevin Nash wins.

Match Rating: *

Main Event – WCW World Title

Booker T vs. Jeff Jarrett

The other big thing to come out of the Russo New Blood era, was the rise of Booker T. That was honestly probably the best thing. He really did deserve that push, and he went on as one of the few WCW Originals that came over in the buyout to thrive in the WWE as a result of this run.

This match is okay forĀ  a main event. Not great, but honestly, it is why Booker T was so good.

Match Rating: **1/2

Well this was AWFUL. No match exceeds 15 minutes with most clocking around 8 minutes but almost every segment seems like it lasts 30. That is not good.



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