Awhile back, my friend over at the Twitter, Dai, posed this topic about wrestling stables…
His followers and other friends of mine came up with some spectacularly bad ones. So let us take a look at some of them
5. Misfits in Action
Ugh is the appropriate phrase for Misfits in Action. This was during Vince Russo’s 2nd run in WCW, and they were comically bad. Somehow, the group had the legendary Chavo Guerrero Jr in it, but even he couldn’t save this crap. They all had new names like Lt. Loco, Cpl Cajun, Private Stash, Sgt AWOL, GI Bro, and…. Captain Hugh G Rection. You get it?!
The most memorable thing was Major Gunns, the valet played by softcore adult star, Tylene Buck, sadly.
It was competing with the Attitude Era so you know where this is heading if you haven’t watched this crap. At least WWF in that era had some subtledty to adult humor (that was blatantly lost during the whole Katie Vick scenario). This was just crude and unfunny.
4. The Truth Commission
The Gang Warz of 1997 was completely tasteless. There I said it. It really is hard to debate which group was the most tasteless. I would say White Separatist group from South Africa would be the top spot but they were just so unmemorable. The only highlight being The Jackyl (Don Callis of NJPW and ROH commentary fame now).
The other three guys, Kurrgan, Recon, and Snipe. Let me be completely honest here. I am going to be completed honest with you here. Till this very day, I can not tell who was Recon and who was Sniper. They were just so forgetful.
How do you make something that is so inappropriate and tasteless that forgettable? The Truth Commission is the answer to that question.
3. The X-Factor
Take 3 guys who were never going to get over in WWE, and put them in a stable.
First, X-Pac was amazing as the 1-2-3 Kid. I was there when I watched him defeat Razor Ramon. It was one of the greatest moments of the first year of Monday Night RAW, easily. Then after a few years, he made the jump to WCW and joined the nWo.
Remember when X-Pac deflected from WCW to WWE and that was the greatest day after Wrestlemania surprise? That lasted for awhile then he kind of stagnated and inadvertently created “X-Pac Heat.”
What is X-Pac heat? This is where they do not boo you because you’re an effective heel. They boo you because they don’t want you on the screen. Poor guy.
Then there is Justin Credible. He had one of the most ridiculous gimmicks in WWE as the “Portugese Man o War” Aldo Montoya. His moment to shine though was in ECW where Paul Heyman knew exactly how to use him. I still remember how awesome him and Lance Storm were as The Impact Players.
Then, he went to WWE after ECW and WCW folded, and he was just kind of there.
Do not even get me started on Albert. WWE always tried to make Albert / A-Train / Tensai a thing. He was always labeled as a guy with “untapped potential.” Japan figured it out, but in WWE, they just couldn’t get him over. He even had a Wrestlemania match with The Undertaker for some reason. Let us face it. It just was never ever happening.
So you had X-Factor who I can’t recall one memorable moment or feud from their tenure. I still remember how amazingly lit that theme music was. Let us listen to that before we go onto the next entry.
2. Disciples of Apocalypse
Man, how do you make a biker gang featuring a former member of one of the greatest tag teams of all time, Demolition, so forgettable? Well, WWE accomplished just that in 1997 when Crush, Chainz, Skull, and 8-Ball came out as a Hell Angels-ish biker gang known as the Disciples of Apocalypse to fight The Nation of Domination. If I recall correctly, it was not quite as blatant as the Truth Commission in their intentions. However, there were certainly “implications.”
Skull and 8 Ball aka Ron and Don Harris lasted the longest in this gimmick for some reason. Why did Ron and Don Harris always keep getting work? They were absent of any charisma or character whatsoever. Their in ring work didn’t exactly make up for that either.
Also, who the fuck decides to join a gang and dubs themself with the name of “8 Ball.” What a dumb freaking name.
1. Los Boricquas
Now, there was some pushback on the thread about this…
These 4 guys are certainly legends of Puerto Rico. Savio Vega had a good run during a low era of WWE. The other three guys were big names in Puerto Rico. So why didn’t this work?
For the same reason none of the other gangs outside of The Nation of Domination didn’t work. You had 3 guys randomly introduced with no build whatsoever. They are now in a stable with Savio Vega, who had just been deemed “too worthless” to be in the Nation of Domination. Audiences in America, unfortunately, didn’t know who those 3 guys were. It is not like today where everything is streaming and half of the audience will at least know who a new guy is before he or she even makes his or her NXT debut.
Plus, the storyline itself was problematic. Usually thinly veiled or sometimes just outright racist. It wasn’t even executed well at all as a story. It was more they are feuding “just because” with really no background to who these people were as individuals (outside of the Nation of Domination) or why we should have any stake in who comes out on top.
This feud was received with general apathy by audiences in 1997 even though it took up about 15% of television time each week on Monday Night RAW. I cringe just thinking about how Vince and company thought this was a good idea.
Now, had WWE done something either more tasteful (for 1997) or at least hyped up who these guys were, things might have been different for them.
Even today, Puerto Rico lacks representation in WWE outside of the occasional half-hearted effort on WWE’s part to bring in someone from the Colon family. Especially when you think right now at this very moment, Lin-Manuel Miranda and the Hamilton musical is one of the greatest things going on right now in America, WWE did not capitalize on that at all.
But hey, I did like their theme song. They had that going for them at least.