T he Wrestling merchandise column is back again! Along with your submissions, I also scour the internet for what is truly odd, bad, or interesting wrestling merchandise. I’ve done action figures, shirts, and everything else.
Marty Jannetty Trading Card
Now, I know what you are thinking, “Geek…. this card might have appealed to the female demographic of the 80s, but it is an assault on the senses now.”
To you I say “SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!”
As far as I am concerned, this card appeals to all demographics. It is timeless, just like Marty fucking Jannetty. He is one half of the tag team specialists known as The Rockers. Who even was his tag team partner anyway?
Come on, you are jealous you can’t pull off this kind of swag with the short shorts, the fanny pack, open shirt, and the fucking sweet curly mullet. He has a cocky expression on his face with those sunglasses because he knows he is 100% swag.
Cactus Jack’s Cactus Jackets
WWE Hall of Famer, New York Times Best Selling Author, and all around good guy Mick Foley started his mainstream wrestling career as Cactus Jack. Well, he went into one adventure in the mid 90s where he sold… CACTUS JACKETS.
To be clear… THIS GUY got into fashion…
Still, despite his odd sense of fashion, Mick Foley will always be remembered for his passion for wrestling, the risks he took, and the simple fact is that he comes across as a genuinely good guy.
Having said all of that, let us take a look at those amazing jackets..
Yes, he got his beautiful wife to model in this amazing venture. Personally, I want the leather vest. You get me that vest, I will grow a mullet that will rival the one Foley is sporting in this ad. I’ve done it before!
Smoking Gunns Action Figure
Do you remember the Smoking Gunns? Billy Gunn and Bart Gunn teamed up and brought pistols to the ring and wore Cowboy outfits. That was about all they did too. They did win Tag Team Championship and the only real storyline they were ever in was with Tammy Sytch. Billy Gunn went on to become a Hall of Famer in WWE and Bart Gunn went on to be known as the guy Butterbean knocked out in less than a minute at Wrestlemania 15.
But damn, did those boys rock some amazing mustaches…
Let us face, nobody can rock the kind of stache that Bart Gunn can above.
Did you know they had action figures too? Well, let us look at those below…
Why are their upper bodies so much bigger than than their legs? I swear, the Billy Gunn action figure is absolutely atrocious (Blone on the right). How did Hasbro get to do this job for so long?
John Cena Chair
From WWE’s “What the hell were they thinking?!” Department comes this John Cena kid’s chair…
So now kids everywhere can sit on John Cena’s lap…. …..