The Facebook Marketplace is Wild

I am going to say, the Facebook Marketplace is the wasteland of classified listings. Take everything you know about the YouTube comment section, and apply the basic principals to a Classified Listings page.

Half Empty Bottle of Lotion

Here you go, a partially used bottle of lotion. Only one previous owner has masturbated with it, so it is like new.

Reptile Terrarium Moss

Boy the person who thought this was a shit ton of ganja for $2 is going to be TERRIBLY disappointed. Instead, it is half a bag of lizard tank terrarium moss. The seller makes sure to clarify this is the unused portion so there won’t be lizard turds in this. Honestly, this raises a lot more questions than answers, such as “Why not throw it away, you are only charging $2 for it anyway?” and “Where did the lizard who will need their cage cleaned go?”

Fucking Wild Hogs on Blu Ray

STOP EVERYTHING EVERYONE IS DOING RIGHT NOW! Here is the much elusive 2007 classic Wild Hogs BRAND NEW. It holds a 14% on Rotten Tomatoes because it went over the average intelligent person’s heads. On eBay, this rarity goes for about $5 with shipping, so save yourself those annoying shipping charges and pick up this piece of great cinema to own. (Brand new Physical copies of Wild Hogs are SO IMPORTANT TO PRESERVE).

All of the Kid Rock Autographs You Could Ever Want

The year is 1999. I’m 15 years old. I turn on that local edgy radio station and what comes on the air?

Now, I am not ashamed to admit that I loved this song. Kind of still do. I was a bit of a 15 year old edgelord myself at the time. It is what it is.

But this is the year 2019, and I am now 35 years old. I’m a lot more mature than I was. I like to think I am a lot wiser. Needless to say, if there is anyone who has proceeded to suck in almost every conceivable way possible after their initial breakout hit, it is Kid fucking Rock.

Hey, that is alright if you love every one of his songs and loves the enigma that he is. I implore you to not let myself NOT enjoying him in any way hinder you from letting your Kid Rock freak flag fly.

Having said that, that brings us to this listing…

Now obviously, this man has fallen behind on his scooter payments. So he has to sacrifice his prized possessions of all the Kid Rock autographs in the entire world.

He did a great job with this listing too. Below he zooms in on the first pic to show there is an autograph

Then here below he has Kid Rock autograph on a baseball, you know, for all the great baseball games Kid Rock has played.

Then he has Kid Rock in his “Sweetspot.” I don’t know what that means, and quite frankly, I’m not sure I ever want to know.

Quite frankly folks, that does it for today. As I stated, the Facebook Marketplace is a real wild zone.


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