Say what you will about Hulk Hogan these days with some of the statements that have come to light (I’m no fan of them), but there is no denying the fact that at one time he was insanely popular. WWE (then WWF) knew it and created just about as much merchandise as humanly possible.
So, let us take a look at actual merchandise that they expected people to buy brandishing the Hogan brand.
The Hulk Hogan Light Switch
You want the lights on, brother? Well, then no better than to grasp Hulk Hogan’s chiseled physique to turn it on (chiseled from steroids, that is).
I also can’t help but wondering how exactly the switch is connected to Hulk Hogan himself? I have one theory…
MVP Hogan Baseball Glove
I mean, what baseball fan wouldn’t want a baseball glove of the greatest person to play baseball, Hulk Hogan?
And look how easy on the eyes this glove is. It is not in the least bit distracting so you should be able to play catch just fine.
Hulk Hogan Hockey Mask
Well this is complete and utter nightmare fuel. Imagine if a child is wearing this and surprises you in your blind spot! You may very well be at the risk of a heart attack with this damn thing.
This Wall Clock Will Unleash the 24 Inch Pythons
Imagine whenever you had to check the time, you were greeted by this amazing shot of the Hulkster brandishing his 24 inch pythons, baby. I know it would make my day, and it would probably make yours too. Why did they discontinue true awesomeness like this, I wonder?
Sexy Hulk Hogan Halloween Costume
I mean, hell yeah, sign me the freak up for this. I would love to be sexy Hulk Hogan for Halloween. I gotta show off those pythons I’ve been working on recently. Plus, I totally think I could pull off those heels. Of course, I’d have to ask the wife how my butt looks in the leggings though.
Hey, the best part is it is ONLY 75 dollars. However, when you think about the “Free Panty” that they throw in, I mean it basically pays for itself in the end. A worthy investment, if I do say so.
Hulk Hogan Chair
Can we say this is poorly thought out on almost every level from concept to execution? THe concept is you want to buy this so your child an sit on Hulk Hogan’s lap. (Eww).
Also, seriously, what is going on with this absolutely batshit crazy design?
Well, I that’s the kind of thing that will drive you partake in a few alcohic beverages. Seriously, why WWE? Why?